French Fridays with Dorie - eggplant caviar

When I started on this week's recipe, I thought to myself "no one is going to eat this, except me."  I love baba ganoush and this recipe looked similar.  I was under the impression that most of my family didn't like eggplant...boy was I in for a surprise.

Now that we are in Coronado, near my two sisters and their families, I've been doing Sunday dinners.  I've always loved Sunday dinners...a time to cook a more leisurely meal and share it with friends and family.  Growing up, Sunday dinners were a time to regroup and get ready for the coming week...and to eat a fantastic meal.  My grandmother made some amazing Sunday dinners.  This woman was the epitome of the concept food is love!  I know that she is why I love to cook and the reason that I show my love for people through food.

I'm currently doing a 42 day Jump start to Permanent Weight Loss coaching program with my good friend Katie McClain (check out her awesome coaching website) and we are exploring the thoughts and feelings we have around food.  It's a very interesting program and I'm uncovering a lot of emotions that I have related to food.  Some good, some not so good. 

Eggplant, shriveling in oven.

I'm thinking about my grandmother a lot.  She was a great cook, loved to cook for our family and had a constant battle with her weight for as long as I knew her.  She was a petite woman (4'11" with heels) and obsessed about her weight.  She was of the mindset of those that diet all week and then eat well on the weekends...except for the bowl of vanilla ice cream with strawberries that she had every night.  She never did find the happy medium where she was happy with her weight and with what she was eating.  I'm hoping to break that family pattern.

You are probably asking yourself what this has to do with eggplant caviar?  Well, even though I didn't think anyone would probably eat it, I decided to make it for our appetizer for Sunday dinner.  Along with two loaves of my amazing homemade bread (check out the recipe here).  Let's just say I was pleasantly surprised.  There were 10 of us and the eggplant caviar and bread were demolished...quickly!  When the nieces heard we were having "caviar," they looked at me and asked what was in it.  I assured them there were no fishy eggs anywhere in sight, so they happily gave it a try. 

Oohs and aahs followed.  I am so happy that everyone enjoyed this quick, simple and healthy appetizer.  I'm a little disappointed that there were no left overs.  Everyone agreed that I need to bake three loaves of bread for our next Sunday dinner.  (For dinner, I made Dorie's fresh orange pork loin, dressy pasta "risotto" and her top secret chocolate mousse.  I'll wait to share details when the group cooks these dishes...but let me just say...if you haven't made the dressy pasta "risotto" yet...you need to make it...today!)  See how my fellow Doristas enjoyed their "caviar" at French Fridays with Dorie.

French Fridays with Dorie - coconut-lemongrass braised pork

It's been so long...so long since I've cooked just for the joy of cooking...so long since I've snapped a photo of something I've made...and so long since I've shared on my blog.  Well, it's only been about two months...but it seems like forever.  When we decided to move (right around Mother's Day) and to make it all happen by July 1st...I knew there would be no time for anything else.  No time for anything but getting the house ready to sell (meaning fixing everything that has bugged us for the last umpteen years, but to which we hadn't gotten around to fixing) and packing (meaning going through every single thing that we have accumulated over the last 23 years of marriage and deciding should it stay or should it go).

We were moving from a relatively large house (3600+ sq ft, 18,000 sq ft lot) to a relatively small house(2000+sq ft, maybe 6000 sq ft lot (maybe...if you include the view)).  In order to be on the water...one must give up something...so we are giving up quite a bit of space...and privacy...to achieve the dream of living on the water in one of arguably the most beautiful places in the country (heck...in the world!)

So, with about only 6 weeks to make this all happen...everything else had to be put aside.  I couldn't even read other's blogs...knowing that I would get side-tracked and want to cook, as well as not having the time to give to what can be a complete time suck in your life.  I've missed out on the last two months of my on-line friends' lives...and that's a real bummer.  But, in the end, it was worth the sacrifice.  After three weeks (today) in the new home, we are pretty settled.  Many, many boxes are unpacked and the garage is really the last eyesore at this point.  I owe the state of unpack to my two fabulous sisters (and their kids)...who all pitched in at various times to get one more box unpacked.  (They know how much the sight of the boxes was causing me great distress each day!)

On Wednesday, we had some friends visit from LA (we have many friends scheduled to visit...after all, who doesn't want a weekend in Coronado) and I decided it was the perfect time to get back into the Dorie swing of things.  And, what a great recipe to start back with...coconut-lemongrass braised pork...YUM!

I had most of the ingredients on hand, except the pork & lemon grass (and I was all out of tumeric), so off to the store I went.  Getting use to a new grocery store...always fun!  I have been having a lot of fun going to all the farmers' markets and I joined a CSA (whose farm is about 8 miles from my house).  When I purchased the pork butt, I asked the butcher to cube it for me (I know, so lazy...but such a nice luxury and it made making the dish very quick and easy).  I knew I was going to have trouble finding fresh lemongrass at my local Vons...and I haven't found the specialty ethnic markets yet.  Lucky for me, Vons had fresh lemongrass in a tube (sounds gross...but it worked).

The one bad thing about the new house is the electric cooktop.  Real cooks know that electric is bad....evil...down right horrible to cook on!  Gas is so much more controllable and forgiving.  But, I'm learning.  I have burned a few things and I have to remember not to turn my back on that damn stove.  The first home improvement I'm going to make is install a gas stovetop...but it will probably be a couple of months before that happens...so I'm sure there will be more than a few tales of woe cooking on electric.

Anyway, luckily for our guests...I had no trouble with the stove for this dish.  I browned the pork nicely in small batches...added all the spices and coconut milk and into the oven it went for a quick braise.  Since I put it on early in the day...I only cooked it for 20 minutes and then put it in the fridge.  I finished it on the stovetop right before serving and added the recommended potatoes, carrots and onions (but no celery root because I couldn't find the celery root).

In my opinion, this was a darn good dish.  The pork was incredible...tender, flavorful bite-sized morsels that made you want more and more.  The sauce was good, probably would add a little heat next time.  I served it over rice instead of noodles and I think it was a good call.  My guests enjoyed it, Ethan liked it, but alas St. James turned up his nose...he doesn't like curry...oh well...too bad for him!  (So sad that we had been at my sister's for dinner the night before and she served an actual curry...which he turned his nose up at too...so two nights in a row with no dinner for St. James...he's wasteing away, I tell you!)

I only have a few shots of the dish...taken with my iphone...because the camera was just pulled out of the last box unpacked, but not in time to take the necessary photos.  Hopefully, in two weeks I'll have nice photos again (I made next week's dish on Wed too and it only got iphone photos too!)

Well hell...I pushed a wrong button and this published without the photos, so now I'm adding the photos.  Sorry about that!!

Hope all my fellow Doristas enjoyed this dish.  Check out their posts at French Fridays with Dorie.

Just about time to get started blogging again!

I can't believe all that has happened since my last blog post on May 31st.  It's only been 43 days...but it actually seems like a year...at least!  I've got a strong hankering to blog again and should be ready to by next week.  We moved on July first and Friday will mark two weeks in the new digs.  The upstairs is completely unpacked (Ethan's room and our room and bathrooms).  Downstairs, a completely different story (which I will save for another day).  I'm looking forward to jumping back on the French Fridays band wagon and hope to make the coconut-lemongrass braised pork next week.  (We'll see how that goes...most of my kitchen is still in boxes, but one of the first things unpacked (hence, last packed) was my beloved copy of French Fridays with Dorie...it's sitting on my counter in it's special place...calling to me..."cook from me...cook from me."
So, hopefully next week that will happen and I"ll post and I'll read others' blogs too.  Not only have I taken a hiatus from posting, I have not read a single blog for the last 43 days.  Scandalous...I am so looking forward to catching up on all my friends' adventures!

See you next week!

Changing Views!

The Irey's are changing their view of the world.  We have decided to leave Los Angeles (which has been home for 21 years) and return to San Diego (where St. James was born and I grew up).  The big move takes place in July.  And let me tell you...it's a big move!

First things first...why are we doing this you might ask?  After my mom died last year, I have had continued hankerings to be closer to my siblings and nieces and nephews.  Every time we visit San Diego, as we drive away I would say...wouldn't it be nice if we lived here.  Both my sisters live in Coronado and my brother lives in Lemon Grove.  The last time we drove away (Easter)...I thought about living here for real...seriously.  By Mother's Day, we'd decided to take the jump...that's right...off another cliff we go!

The time is right to do this, since Ethan is going into 7th grade.  A move any later would be really hard on him (this one is going to be hard enough...he and his best friend have been friends since they were three...leaving him and all his other friends is going to be difficult).  The business is in a good place for me to be able to manage the stores from anywhere and James is looking for a career change too (he's got something very exciting in the works...which I'll be able to share a little later this summer).  All in all, it feels like now or never (or at least not for the next 6 years until Ethan graduates).

So after much discussion, hair pulling and tarot card consulting...we decided to move to Coronado.  We've found a beautiful home, right on the bay (that's right...at high tide, the bay is up to our deck, at low tide there's about 20 feet of beach) that's about a mile from one sister and 5 miles from the other.  Everything on Coronado is within bike riding distance.  Ethan will be surrounded by all of his cousins, will have the opportunity to attend one of the best schools in the country (for free) and has decided to learn how to surf.  He will also be learning how to sail, as we can have a small sail boat and kayaks tied right up to our deck.

View from our living room

James will be starting on his new venture and I'll be running my company from the deck off my master bedroom, looking at this all day.

I'm not sure life could be any sweeter...except if all our friends would move to Coronado too!  But, for now, we have a guest room and if you'd like to come visit, just let me know! (But hurry, reservations are booking quickly!!)

PS...blog posts will still be sporadic until we move.  There are only so many hours in the day and they seem to all be dedicated to packing...yuck!!

Taking a little hiatus!

Hi all,
Have you missed me?  I've missed you!  I am taking a little hiatus from my blog posting (and cooking).  Big changes are coming and I don't have any time right now.  I'll share our changes at the beginning of June.  Until then...cook something great for me!

PS...if you know about our changes...don't post anything yet...I've still got a group of folks to tell.  Thanks!

French Fridays with Dorie - garlicky crumb-coated broccoli

This is it...this is all you get this week!  I'll be making this dish on Sunday...just couldn't get to it this week.  Why is it when we have the really easy dishes (like they take 5 minutes)...I have trouble getting to them?  Well, I have a good excuse reason this week, my fellow Doristas.  After Vegas (which was an amazing amount of fun...but unfortunately I have to invoke what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas...to protect the innocent and not so innocent...but I will say ladies, if you have the chance to see Thunder from Down Under...don't miss it!), I started a sugar busters cleanse.  With all the cooking and eating and cooking and eating and working and stressing, my body needs a little tender loving care.  So, I'm taking a break from eating (just doing shakes and bars) for a bit.  Which means I'm not that inclined to cook anything (even for my poor starving boys), including broccoli coated in bread crumbs, garlic and butter!  Next week I'll be back to eating a healthy dinner, so I'll be able to cook again.  Now, don't feel sorry for me...I did this to myself!!

On a side note, I do have a pork loin brining, which I will be smoking on Sunday (on a smoker, not rolled in paper) and making canadian bacon for charcutepalooza, which I will be posting about on the 15th.

Drum Roll Please!

Well, it's time to share my big news.  I have to say...I've loved all the guesses (especially Andrew's guesses of the development of the 3 livered goose, pink cheese...bleu's passive cousin...or the best yet the renaming of our town to Ireydena).  They've all been great for a good laugh!  With the wild thoughts in every one's mind, my announcement might be a little disappointing (especially to all you foie gras lovers who thought you might have a new California hook up)...but it's quite exciting for me.

Have I tortured you enough yet???  The big news is that we've bought another Dream Dinners store and we get the keys on Sunday (yes, this Sunday).  The store is located in Whittier (about 20 miles from our Pasadena store) in the Whittwood Town Center.  It's a big step to take on another store, but it's time. 

My Pasadena staff is so fabulous that they really leave me little to do anymore, so it was time to tackle a new venture.  And what better new venture than an old venture that I actually know how to do!  I have to say, I still have pretty big butterflies (well, some days they are actually bats)!  But, I am really looking forward to this challenge.  To start off, Susanna will be manning the fort in Pasadena and I'll be out in Whittier; however there will be times when we will switch, so we can spread the Susanna love around!

So, a shameless plug.  If you have friends who live in or around Whittier...tell them you know the owner and they should come check us out at www.dreamdinners.com/whittwoodtownctr.  And, of course, if you have friends in or near Pasadena who still haven't found out about us...tell them to check us out at www.dreamdinners.com/eastcolorado.  We will be having a big party in February and if you are in the area and want to come say hi, we'd love it.  I'll post details later next month.  Thanks for all your support and I'm looking forward to sharing crazy cooking blog posts that have crazy new store adventures weaved in.

Sharing the Love!



The nicest thing happened to me the other day...and then it happened again today.  I received a Stylish Blogger Award, from three different fellow bloggers!  I am tickled beyond belief, because it makes me realize that people who have never actually met me, are still enjoying my blog.  I have to say that I have been totally crazy this week and last week (big announcement is coming tomorrow to let everyone know what's going on in my life) and haven't been able to respond to the first award, but now with three, I must respond!

The rules are simple:

1. Thank and link back to the person who awarded you this award:

A big thank you to each of you! 

Ana at Sweet Almond Tree for my first award (which was actually a triple award).  Ana's recipes are inspiring and her photos are so lovely! 

My second award comes from YC at Yummy Chunklet.  I love YC's blog name...it brings to mind all sorts of wonderful images.  YC is a sister attorney with a love of food and cooking and I enjoy reading her blog with her wonderful creations! 

My third award comes from the lovely Cher at Crazy World of Cher.  Cher's blog is stylish and beautiful and her writing makes me laugh out loud.  She's not afraid to share: the good, the bad & the ugly.  You should take a peak at each of their blogs, they will make your day a little brighter!

2. Share 7 things about yourself - LOL...just read my blog!  Well, that's kind of rude, so here you go:

i.  I wanted to be a vet when I was young, but my mom told me it was too hard for a woman to be a vet, so I should be a lawyer...and I believed her.
ii.  I fell in love with my husband after the first 10 minutes of talking to him and knew he was the one for me (I was all of 20 years old) and we've now been together for 25 years.
iii.  I was deathly afraid of the dark until I was 34 years old...the turning point was having a baby and having to walk down the hallway in the dark...over and over again...beat the scared right out of me!  (The reason I was afraid of the dark is a long, sad story...which I may share some day.)
iv.  When I was 9'ish, I shared a bed with one of my sisters.  I was convinced she was a vampire and made her sleep with her back touching mine so if she tried to kill me in the middle of the night, I'd be warned by her movement.  I wonder if she remembers that!  I wonder if I ever told her I thought she was a vampire?  I wonder which sister will think this is about them!
v.  I have definitely taken the whole "comfort food" idea to a serious extreme!
vi.  I read 52 books last summer when I was in France...20 of them were total trash novels and I loved every word!  I can no longer afford my reading habit!!
vii.  I wished that I had been able to play tennis professionally.  Of course, that would have required me to have the necessary talent, which I also wish that I had had.
 
3. Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers - I have discovered so many amazing blogs over the last few months, picking just 15 will be difficult, but here goes in completely random order:

Cheesy Pennies - Sharon's writing is amazing...so witty, so insightful, so poignant.
Seattle Pastry Girl - one word...YUM!
17 and Baking - if you haven't read Elissa's blog...you are in for an amazing treat...she's 18 now...but her views of the world show that she has a very old soul...and her cooking makes me wish she'd adopt me
Cakelaw - another fellow lawyer and foodie, Cakelaw's blog is funny and delicious...such a great combo
Life in a Loaf Pan - Monica delivers great recipes and makes me laugh
A Spoonful of Thyme - Kate shares beautiful, thoughtful posts and pictures and I really enjoy reading her blog
The Yummy Mummy Cooks Gourmet - can you say MEAT!  Kim and Cathy from Mrs. Wheelbarrow's Kitchen have inspired me for a year of participating in Charcutepalooza!
Lost in Cheeseland - helps keep me thinking of Paris and all things France!
Eat Live Travel Write -  I want to be Mardi when I grow up.  So talented...amazing cook, amazing photographer, amazing writer!
Dulceshome - I really enjoy reading Candy's FFwD posts...she's always got a great story to tell.
FrenchTwistDC - Love reading this blog with all FT's lovely thoughts on France and the US and her great food!
Spoonables - TT's blog is so beautiful...I am in awe of her photos and her talent (and she's so sweet to give advice too!)
stetted - absolutely gorgeous photos and wonderful writing
My Ruby Shoes - I read this blog for the dog...you'll see what I mean!

4.  Contact these bloggers and tell them about their awards.

These awards are a fun way to get to know other bloggers a little better and to discover bloggers you might not have seen yet.  Check out everyone above and hopefully they'll inspire you like they have me!  Thanks for the awards...it's so nice to be recognized and I really appreciate the blogging love!

French Fridays with Dorie - Leek & Potato Soup

Friday is here at last!  This week I cooked the Leek & Potato Soup for my French Fridays with Dorie post.  In my family, we have a treasured Potato Soup recipe (see below), which we make on Christmas Eve (along with a big pot of chili).  I think the tradition started with my mom and grandma as something relatively easy to make and it will stay warm on the stove for relatives to drop by whenever they like on Christmas Eve.  My siblings and I have kept this tradition alive.

Last year, although a bit scared to do so, I actually made a couple of changes to the soup, just to liven things up a bit.  I added leeks and goat cheese.  The additions were a bit hit (especially the goat cheese)!  I was relieved, since messing with Christmas "taste" memories is a real no no.  You know what I mean.  All year long you've dreamt of that first bite of Christmas fudge, or a special holiday cookie, or a bite of Potato Soup and you want that bite to taste exactly the same way it has always tasted.  Many of us get stuck in a rut because of this and our holiday dishes never improve, they just stay the same, year after year.  So, knowing this...I wondered if Dorie's recipe would be good enough to bump our traditional Christmas Eve Potato Soup.

All the ingredients, except the garlic...where did the garlic go?

Dorie's recipe is different from my family's recipe in a couple of ways.  The ingredients are slightly different (for instance, Dorie's recipe calls for leeks, mine doesn't, which is probably why her recipe is called leek and potato soup and mine is called potato soup!).

And the way you cook the ingredients is different.  Mainly, in Dorie's recipe, after sauteing the onions and garlic, you add all the other ingredients, including the milk and cook until everything is tender.  In my recipe, there's no sauteing, you just cook the main ingredients in water, then add cream and spices at the end.  With Dorie's recipe, you can use water or stock and milk or water.  I decided in order to get the richest soup possible that I would use stock and milk.

Before knife!

After knife!

Ready to simmer!

The prep for the soup was super easy (pun intended!).  When the soup is finished, you can puree it until smooth or leave it chunky.  You can also serve it hot or cold.  I decided to leave it chunky and serve it hot.  I followed Dorie's suggestion and made giant croutons to sit on top of the soup.  I also cooked thick cut bacon and chopped it up and served that on the side as a garnishment (my boys are okay eating a vegetarian meal, but they prefer a little meat/bacon with everything they eat).  (If you are wondering where the pictures of the soup with the bacon on top are, the bacon got gobbled up in the soup before I could get a picture of it!)

When I made the croutons, I sauteed the bread slices in the bacon fat and then added a bit of parmesan on top.  Can I just say...these croutons were DELICIOUS!

What's the verdict? 

St. James said Dorie's soup is better and should replace our family recipe (although he only eats chili on Christmas Eve, so I'm not sure his vote should count).  Ethan thoroughly enjoyed the new recipe (as did our guests).  I think I'd add a little cream and a little butter to "fatten" it up a bit.  I do love the fresh herbs that gently simmer into the broth as the soup cooks.  I think I'll ask my sisters if they are okay trying this new version for the holiday.  Although, I won't be surprised if they say no.

For a simple, yet delicious soup, try my grandma's recipe.  She should would get a kick out of knowing that I am sharing her recipes across the internet world!

Grandma's Potato Soup 

(grandma's note in margin "good!!")

4 cups cubed potatoes

1 cup sliced celery

1 cup chopped onions

2 cups water

2 tsp salt

Simmer 20 mins, mash once or twice.  Then stir in the following ingredients and heat through.

1 cup milk

1 cup cream

3 Tbs butter

1 Tbs parsley

1/2 tsp caraway seeds

1/2 tsp pepper

Wondering what everyone else made this week at FFwD?  Check them all out here.  Tune in next week for my go-to beef daube.  

Christmas came early at my house!

Today, St. James and I went Christmas shopping.  Shopping is not our favorite thing to do, but it needs to be done.  We made it a little more fun by buying a few things for ourselves (some shoes and sweaters).  Then, we made it a lot more fun and St. James let me loose in the Le Creuset factory outlet store.  I had a coupon for 35% off my whole purchase, so I knew I was going to have a bit of fun.  I got my first Le Creuset pot about a year ago, and ever since have wondered how I ever lived without it.  Today, I added the sister, brother, cousin and baby sister to my collection.  I can't wait to start creating things in these gorgeous pans.  (Each row in the mosaic is the same piece, lest you think I bought 7 new pieces).  I didn't take a shot of the new skillet...it didn't want to come play in my photo shoot (mainly because I forgot to invite it!)

You don't need to be jealous...just ask when we're inviting you for dinner!!

My favorite time of the year!

I love Thanksgiving and Christmas!  I really do.  At least, I love the image of the perfect holidays that I imagine I will create for my loved ones each year.  Needless to say, I fall a bit short of perfection each year.  But that doesn't stop me from striving for perfection the next year.  I remember one year, I had purchased and wrapped all my holiday gifts by November 1st.  Boy, I thought I'd hit holiday perfection pay dirt that year!  I even got Christmas cards out to everyone and their brother...before Christmas!

I think what I'm actually trying to recreate is that magical feeling I had as a child.  At Thanksgiving, we'd go to my grandma's place and all my aunts and uncle and cousins would be there.  Grandma would cook for a couple of days and we'd have an amazing meal.  As I got older, I got to help with the cooking.  I learned a lot from my Grandma.  I learned how to mash potatoes and make gravy and read a recipe and tinker with a recipe.  I learned that when you cook with love in your heart, you can taste it in the food.

Kind of like that book that's out now, where the main character can taste the emotions of the person who cooked the food (I loved this book...The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender).  I'm definitely one of those people who feels that a great home cooked meal is a perfect way to show someone how much you care about them.

Obviously, I know striving for the perfect holidays is elusive and kind of silly.  Inevitably, each year, something will mar what could have been perfection.  Sometimes it's a squabble among my siblings (all who feel the same pressure to create perfect holidays), or illness (one of us usually has some nasty cold/flu/bronchitis crap) or a failure to get everything on the list done (what, no Christmas cards sent for the fifth year in a row?).  I also know that in the end, whatever gets done is great, whatever doesn't really didn't need to happen and we always have great holidays anyway!

This weekend I started on my quest for perfection by working on handmade Christmas gifts and preparing for Thanksgiving at my house.  We usually go to San Diego for the holidays, but this year the gang is coming to my house for Turkey Day.  We'll have 17 guests and my plan is to make everything from scratch, including all the pies (well, except for the butter...haven't figured out how to churn butter yet...thank goodness!)  Hopefully, I'll have time to take a few photos along the way and share the fun and festivities!  I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving this week and get to share the holiday with someone you love.

Visiting Seattle

Today, I flew up to Seattle to visit my Dad who lives in Port Orchard (on an island across the sound from Seattle).  My dad is sick and is going to have a heart valve replaced next week.  My dad is 84 (almost 20 years older than my mom).

I didn't grow up with my dad.  He and my mom divorced when she was 8 months pregnant with me.  It was an incredibly tragic love story...and the reason my mom's life went into a downward spiral (imagine, it's 1965, you're 22 years old and your husband leaves you because he decides you're too young and he's embarassed that you're pregnant...at least that's the story my mom told me).  I've never had the guts to ask my dad his side of the story.

I met my dad when I was 18.  I had a horse accident when I was 12 and child services (or some such entity) had contacted him to pay my hospital bills (all unknown to me or my mom).  They also had him start paying child support.  When I turned 16, we were contacted by some government organization and told that there was a pot of money from my dad paying child support.  I don't know why it took them 4 years to let us know about the money, but it was a nice surprise at the time.  My mom told me that when I turned 18, if I wanted to contact my dad, I could.  So, when I turned 18, I contacted the organization and they put me in touch with my dad.

Meeting him was incredibly surreal and over the years we developed a bit of a relationship.  He lived in Northern California and I was in So Cal. so I didn't see him a lot during college.  But, when I went to law school in San Francisco, he lived in the Santa Cruz mountains and I saw him quite a bit more.  Since then, he's moved to Port Orchard and I see him every 12 - 18 months (mainly because the home office for the franchise I own is near Seattle and I always stop and see him when I'm up visiting the home office).  We have a pleasant relationship, but he has three other kids (all from prior marriages to my mom) who grew up with him and are part of his everyday life.

Now my dad is sick.  My mom died in February and I've told my dad that I can't handle him dying this year.  I think he thought I was kidding...I really wasn't.  I do realize I have no control over this, and whatever happens, happens.  But, I'm sure hoping he makes it through the surgery and gets well.  I don't have anymore tears in me this year...or maybe I'm just afraid if I start to cry...I won't stop this time!

The first thing I learned in France...you do have a choice.

Tomorrow, we will have been home for a week.  Today is the first day that we woke up at a normal time (6:30) and all got a full night's sleep.  Yeah!  So, it only took 6 days to get over the jet lag.  Although, I have to admit, my head is still in a bit of a fog.  I think part of that is because I don't have a plan.  There are about 268 things that I  need to do...but I am quite resistant to making a list.  James actually asked me to make a list of things that need to be done around the house.  Then he assigned things to Ethan from the list.  Poor Ethan!

I learned a lot of things about myself in France.  Some of them good things, some of them not so good things and a few ugly things.  Most of these things I've always known...but, haven't wanted to admit or confront OR I thought they were GOOD things.  I now see that there is a good and a bad side to some of my personality traits.  They serve me well in many ways, however, they also cause me a lot of stress.  The goal now that I'm home is to see how I can tweak things just a bit so that I am still well served, without being stressed.

The first thing I learned is we all have a choice.  Let's back up a bit to why I wanted to go on this trip.  I thought I needed to escape and have a break from all the things that were pushing down on me.  I felt like I was stressed out all the time, life was hard, I wanted out!  Turns out, that's where my head was, so that was my reality.  But, I was making a choice.  I was choosing to see things as stressful and hard and overwhelming!  As I learned in France, I could choose to see things as an adventure, as a challenge, as something to attack and survive...rather than seeing life as doing things to me...I could do things to life!

Unfortunately for my family, I didn't learn this lesson very quickly.  It took 5 long weeks of being handed lemons before I saw the way to make lemonade.  I swear, the second I realized that I had a choice in how I reacted to the challenges we were presented in France, that was the second those things were no longer challenges.  Sadly, this is a lesson I have learned before in my life...and had applied in my life for many years.  For some reason, the events of the last two years have had me feeling like I don't have choice.  That life is just happening to me.  That being happy, amidst all that has been going on, was impossible and just not right.  I realize I had gotten trapped in the idea that with so much suffering in the world, it was wrong to be happy.  Even if my life was good, even if I was loved and loved others, even if down deep I wanted to be happy.

Something shifted for me in France.  Maybe it was two months without the news.  No tv, no newspapers, no internet news.  I made a conscious decision to avoid it all.  For all I know, they've found a cure for cancer, or we have been invaded by space aliens.  Anything could have happened, and I don't know about it.  And to tell you the truth, I feel better!  I took a break from all the economic news...the daily stress of wondering are we out of the recession yet? 

I now realize that I got off track on July 11, 2008 when IndyMac Bank failed, the day after my 43rd birthday.  Looking back, I realize I was completely naive.  I never thought IndyMac would fail.  I had faith.  The bank had many, many good people working for it...trying to save it.  When it failed, a piece of me was forever changed.  I lost faith.  Faith in the American ideal...work hard and you're rewarded.  Looking at my own business, we were starting to feel the effects of the downturn in the economy too.  I started thinking that it didn't matter how hard I worked, I couldn't effect the changes needed to keep my business strong.

Perhaps this is a stage that all business owners go through.  Wondering if you've got what it takes to be successful, when so many others fail.  Wondering if you have any actual control over anything...or if you just have to react to what life throws at you.  This is not a good place to be when you're running a business.  You don't want to do a business plan, because you start to feel like it's pointless.  Of course, this is the time it's more important than ever to have a plan and to work the plan!  (I sound like an AA member.)

I was happy in France.  Every day I woke up with hope and peacefulness (well, except those two mornings when I was sick as a dog...those mornings I just hoped for a swift and painless death!)  Every day was a new day with endless possibilities.  Every day was a chance for joy! 

So, why can't I feel this way at home?  What's stopping me?  I'm stopping me...plain and simple.  I've gotta get out of my own way.  There is happiness and peace and joy...all waiting for me.  Just waiting for me to say...come in.  So, I'm saying "Come in!"  "Come in today, tomorrow and every day after that!"  It's time and I'm ready.  Maybe I did need to jump off the cliff to see these truths again...maybe not...but it certainly helped.  I'm choosing happiness again and I am so damn happy about it! 

Our bags are packed, we're ready to go!

That's right!  Everything is checked off the lists...the bags are packed (all under 50 lbs)...and we are about to turn in.  We're flying out of LAX (leaving at 8 am), through Houston and then landing in Paris at 8 am on Thursday (which would be 11 pm PST Wed).  So, no more posts from me until late Thursday or maybe even Friday.  The kids are quite excited (as are the adults)! Bonsoir & au revoir for now

Cats always know!

Cat 1 - wondering what's up! 

She and her sister are going to our friends who are going to look after them (and our two dogs) while we are gone.  Yep, we've got some great friends who are willing to take all four of our pets for the entire summer.  That's pretty amazing.  But, animal people are like that! 

When Ethan was born (12 short years ago), he was 10 weeks premature (he weighed in at a whopping 2 lbs 9 oz).  He had to stay in NICU for 10 weeks while he grew and added weight.  When he finally got to go home (at an incredible 4 lbs, 2 oz.), I was not thrilled about having our dogs around him yet (we had two wonderful German Sheperds at the time...Fritz & Sis).  With all the breathing issues, dog hair, etc. (plus the fact that he definitely looked like a small chew toy), I thought our dogs should go on a little vacation.  That's where our wonderful friends Barry & Liz came in.  They agreed to take Fritz & Sis for as long as we needed (and it turned out to be a long time before I was able to have them come home).

Of course, when we started planning this trip, I thought of them (lucky them!).  Now, they've not only agreed to take in our two dogs (Sophie & Sierra, our loving labs), but the two cats too (affectionately referred to as Cat 1 and Cat 2 because when they were young I couldn't tell them apart or remember which one was Leia and which was Padme (yep, Ethan named them...as he did the dogs too).

For many home exchanges, your exchanging family will take care of your pets, while you take care of theirs.  While I would have been fine with that for a couple of weeks, I thought two months of taking care of our brood would be a bit much (plus, our French guests are going to do a bit of traveling and I didn't want to have to call upon delightful Susanna to house sit on a moment's notice.)  So, the pets are off to Liz & Barry's today.  We are all a little sad to say goodbye for the summer.  Hopefully they'll still love us when we get back (the pets as well as Liz & Barry)!

It's an illness...help!!!

The list writing has gotten completely out of control.  A few weeks ago, James and I sat down and did a long list of things that we wanted to get done at our house before we left.  These ranged from the mundane (replace burned out light bulbs...we had 9 burned out throughout the house) to the more tricky (fix the jacuzzi air switches, which control the jets and haven't been working properly for awhile).  There were about 47 other things on this list.   I also had quite a list of things to accomplish at the store before I could leave the business in delightful Susanna's capable hands.

In addition to repairing items around the house, we also needed to create space for our guests' things.  Like closet space and dresser space.  Our closets and dressers are pretty packed (as I'm sure most every one's are)...so I thought we'd just have to box up stuff (clothes) and store it in the attic.  Which reminds me of a story about my mom, Christmas stuff, boxes, the attic and St. James...but I'm going to stay on track (since I'm able to laugh at this story after all this time, but St. James still fails to see the humor in it).  Boxing stuff up is kind of a pain.  And, it also has to be left to the last minute (since we're using a lot of the stuff until we leave).  As I'm finding out, many of the 47 things on our list had to be left to the last minute.

Being the Type A that I am (if you don't know that about me, you probably haven't spent any significant time hanging out with me yet), I type up the list, assigned each task to one of the three of us (there were actually 4 tasks assigned to Ethan and the rest were fairly evenly split between James and me.  I also assigned dates by which the tasks should be completed.  About 10 days ago, we started attacking the list in earnest and making pretty good headway.  St. James actually was able to figure out how to fix the jacuzzi air switches without us spending $2k on having to have new ones put in (yeah...means more wine in France!)  For the last 5 days, the list has taken over our lives. 

Each morning, I get up, pull out the list and make a new daily list from the things left to be done.  I am terrified we are going to forget something really important (I don't know, like taking our pets to our friends who are taking them in for the summer)!  Today, the list became five lists...each remaining task assigned to one of the remaining five days we have left before we leave (I handed James his list for the day and told him to return it at the end of the day with everything checked off...I think I might end up going to France alone).  At the end of this day, I redid the lists into 4 lists (Sat, Sun, Mon & Tue).  I was going to keep all these lists for a wacky scrapbook page or something, but am getting an incredible amount of satisfaction from ripping them to shreds after I've transferred the undone items to a new list.  Shall I give you a look at tomorrow's list?  Then I think you'll see the full extent of my illness.

• Finish bills
• Unforward email
• Dogs to groomers (OMG...if we forget this one, our friends will ship these dogs to France)
• Pack (Steph & James)
• Clothes - Steph done
• Electronics
• Toiletries
• Finish cleaning out kitchen pantry
• Finish instruction book on how everything works in the house (yes, we are leaving detailed instructions on how to use each appliance, the bbq and every remote in the joint)
• Finish cleaning up den (mainly desk area)
• Clear shelves & rack space in master closet (so our guests don't have to live out of their suitcases)
• Change light bulbs in master bedroom (we have really high ceilings, so it requires the big ladder, hence it has been delayed until the very end)
• Things that got added to list
• Finish cleaning garage
• Finish fixing pool stuff
• Fix sprinklers on lower yard and reseed

That's it.  There are many other things for the rest of the days, so let's hope we get these all done tomorrow!
PS...post updated Saturday to show what got done (strike throughs).  Luckily, Sunday's list is much shorter!

Anticipation & Electric Bills

One of the best parts of an adventure is the anticipation.  Thinking about what you're going to do, what you're going to see, what you're going to eat...how you're going to feel.  For me, it's really been the last two weeks that I have allowed myself to savor all the possibilities.  I just got off the phone with our French host.  Can I just say, I love listening to a French man speak.  His accent is so wonderful and his phrasing is delightful.  He just confirmed that he will be picking us up from the airport and taking us to the house, as he and his wife have a show in the South of France before they leave for the US.  So we'll get to meet our hosts, which I'm really looking forward to. 

At this point, he might be a little worried about me...as a bit of my neurosis came through loud and clear on this call.  Everyone keeps asking me if I'm worried about letting complete strangers live in my house.  I have to say, a year ago I never would have considered it.  I love my home, it's a big part of me. While I love to share it with friends by entertaining, I haven't really wanted someone to stay here when I'm not here (except for my delightful Susanna, who has house sat for us for every trip we've taken in the last five years).  Over the past several months, something has switched in me.  I still love my house, but I am not as attached to it as I was before.  I feel very comfortable turning it over to someone else.  I'm a fairly trusting person...I'm convinced nothing bad is going to happen.

Well, except for one thing.  I'm really worried about electricity.  I can't believe I'm sharing this, but what the heck.  When I was little, there was a huge conservation push (you know, during the 70's when we had the energy crisis).  My mom instilled in me that if you leave a room, you turn off the light (even if you're coming right back).  I don't let the water run when I'm brushing my teeth.  I don't let the water run when I'm doing dishes.  I don't leave the refrigerator door open to pour a glass of milk.  I don't turn on the heat in the house until the inside thermometer dips below 60 and I certainly don't turn on the air conditioner until we've reached 90 (inside...not outside).

I've always been this way, ever since I can remember.  Even before I had my own electric & water bills to pay.  I've conserved for other people's benefit, not just mine.  Now, you might think that I'm writing this to show you how noble I am.  How Eco friendly I am.  How dedicated I am to solving global warning and conserving resources.   Yeah, not so much!  I actually don't think my behavior is any of these things.  I think it's neurotic.  (And I'll tell you, my hubby does too!). 

In fact, I didn't actually think I was neurotic until I started living with James (we'll have been married 22 years at the end of July) and we started having discussions over the thermostat...or in the bathroom as he had the water running as he was shaving.  I'd be like, turn off that water while you're shaving...he'd look at me like I was crazy...and he'd say, but I'm using the water to shave.  I'd say...only in between swipes...turn it off while you're swiping (yep, my technical shaving term, but you know what I mean).  This would elicit more crazy looks.  I'd leave the bathroom, strongly of the opinion that I was right and James was wrong.  We'd have very similar discussions at the kitchen sink and definitely have had major discussions about turning on the heat or the air.  If I was alone, I would never turn on either.  James grew up in the mid-West and Oregon and when he was young, water was never an issue.  So he just looks at things differently than I do.  He also likes to be comfortable, so if sweat is dripping off his brow and the thermostat says 98, he's OK with turning on the air. 

Now, some might say this is a control issue for me.  That I want things done the way I want them done and I'm inflexible.  I might say that I just want things done the right way and in this case my way happens to be the right way.  I bet some of you are thinking, boy how has he put up with her for 22 years (24 years if you count the courting and engaged time)?  Well, I'll tell you, I have no idea.  With a bit of age under my belt, at this point in my life, I realize that I am married to St. James.  The fact that he can accept my craziness and generally not give me a hard time about it absolutely amazes me.  But St. James is a topic for another day.  (I'm not sure whether he has started to read the blog yet...I'm not going to mention anything and see if he does.  He may not be happy with me talking about him here, we'll have to see.  If I never mention his name again, you'll know which way that conversation went.)

This all leads back to why I'm worried about electricity, and why our French host/guest might think I'm a little bit bonkers.  During the summer, our house seems to suck electricity like there's no tomorrow.  The electric bills can be staggering (trust me, I know staggering given that I own a store that has 11 freezers and refrigerators!)  So, to be staggered at home can be quite sad.  And, it's always after the fact.  I always get surprised by these amazing electric bills and water bills and gas bills (because of the pool, in the summer).  We had a water leak that we didn't discover for a long time (two water bills' worth)...don't even get me going on that.  Today in our conversation, I explained most of this to our soon to be guest.  How I'm really only worried about the electric bill and if they could remember to turn the air off when they're leaving, not let it run all night, etc...that would be great.  By the end of the conversation he was saying, we probably won't even run the air...I don't think we'll need it.  I laughed and said when it hits 110 outside, you're probably going to want to turn it on.  He didn't laugh so much at that.  Then I mentioned the pool.  We don't let the heater run all summer, just a few days a week.  I asked if he wasn't going to use the pool for a few days (like when they go to visit the Grand Canyon), could they turn it off.  I think this one put him over the edge a bit.  But I think I redeemed myself and told him someone (delightful Susanna) would be checking on the house when they were gone, so if they forgot something like turning off the stove, she'd catch it.  (OK, I didn't really say the thing about turning off the stove...I'm not that neurotic!)

Now I've bared my innermost secrets about controlling the use of electricity.  After I've written this, I'm starting to think it really is a control issue.  We're all adults, my guests know that they should be judicious in their use of the air conditioning, right?  I probably shouldn't have said anything.  Oh well, I'm leaving them several bottles of wine to welcome them, hopefully that will make up for any damage I've done.

Til next time.  Just be happy I'm not in your home everyday, telling you to turn off the air (except for James, who does have to deal with this everyday...sorry babe.)

An old friend

As I was taking a break from my still incredibly long "things we gotta do before we leave for France" list, I was reading one of my favorite blogs Pioneer Woman and she was writing about some of her favorite bloggers.  I took a peek and got sucked in to another world for awhile (like an hour or two...ok maybe three!)  One that I really loved was Chookooloonks, and after reading her blog I got really inspired and realized I have a purpose for my trip.  (Other than just escaping, which is a perfectly good purpose in itself.)  I'm not going to share my purpose just yet, but I will soon.  However, once I realized I had a purpose, I knew I needed to go find an old friend.  Here he is:

It's my long lost Rebel Canon.  (Well, not really lost...just put up on a shelf for the last 5 years...exactly the amount of time since I opened my store, not a coincidence I think.)  When James and I were deciding what electronic equipment to take to France, I decided I would just take my iphone and Ethan's little point & shoot camera.  I didn't feel like lugging around my "real" camera.  But then I read Chookooloonks' blog, saw her wonderful pictures and realized my Rebel was calling my name.  He has wanderlust too!  So, I found him in the closet, took him out of the case and sighed a huge sigh of satisfaction.  He's so beautiful and he creates such beauty.  Unfortunately, his battery is drained and I can't find the charger anywhere.  So, it's off to Samy's Camera tomorrow to buy a new battery and charger.  Oh the photos that I will be taking.   And you lucky reader will be getting to enjoy them...I'm sure they'll be much better than my iphone photos (an example of which is above...notice the out of focus edges!)

Two months, when you're a grown up!

When I decided that I wanted a two month "escape," I'm not sure I really considered what that meant in terms of the things that needed to be handled while I was gone.  After all, I'm a grown up and have lots of responsibilities (too many, sometimes).  I could certainly head off to France, stay connected through the internet and participate in my regular life just as if I were at home.  However, I had something a little different in mind.  Escape to me meant not checking my email, not checking my bank accounts, not paying bills, not being involved in the day-to-day ops of my business.  I wanted to go and pretend to be someone else.  I didn't really care who that someone was, I just knew I didn't want it to be me...with all the stresses, all the pressures, all the damned decisions!

I started making lists....lots and lots of long lists.  To ensure that everything at home ran as best it could, without my attention or interference or thought!  For home, that meant handling all the bills (which while I did pay them on-line, I'd never set up ebills...so silly now that I realize how easy it is to do so), making sure the house was looked after to ensure that our French guests were taken care of, and finding a temporary home for our two cats and two dogs (since I did think it was a little too much to expect our French visitors to take care of all these animals!)  The pets were actually the easiest to arrange, since we have some terrific friends who were willing (even happy???) to take all four of them.  We'll see how they feel about that decision at the end of the summer.

One down side of this adventure is the fact that I chose not to plant a garden this year, since we would be gone for the prime production months for our tomatoes.  (In the past, I've had up to 16 different varieties of heirloom tomatoes.  We are definitely missing my tomatoes already!)  I'm probably going to plant fall tomatoes when we get home (which I've had good success with in the past).

For the business...there's just one word...Susanna!  When my mom was dying, I was basically out of commission for a month and my wonderful Susanna handled everything at the store.  She is one of the reasons that I realized that I actually could leave my US life for a couple of months.  She willingly stepped up and said she was ready for the challenge to handle everything on her own.  I'm blessed to have her in my life!  We've spent the last three months training on all the things that she wasn't trained on yet and she is now ready to handle all aspects of the business.  We've laughed that when I come home (if I come home), I'll have to start another business...this one won't need me anymore.  (And I am really happy about that prospect!)

9 days and counting

In just 9 days, our adventure begins.  Although, in actuality, this adventure began in February, when I decided I needed a break from my life.  My mom died in February, after a long illness.  I'm the oldest and much of the responsibility fell to me (although all my siblings were great and did their fair share...the burden of making the decisions was on my shoulders).  In my mom's final days, the stress of what we were all going through became unbearable.  I just wanted to escape...to run away...to stop having to make decisions.  Being the type A personality that I am, I couldn't really do that.  At least not then.  However, I started to think about how I could take a break from it all...with a little planning, so I didn't completely derail my life.

I really wanted to escape, and kept thinking about spending time in France or Italy.  In the countryside, with a slower pace of life...away from email and cell phones and my business.  And I was thinking about 2 or 3 months...a true break!  But, how could we afford such a luxury?  The housing alone would be thousands of dollars.  And then it came to me, why not a home exchange.  I could use our most valuable asset (which would be empty while we were gone) and not have to pay for a home somewhere else.  I did what every connected person now does and hopped on Bing and put in Home Exchange.  Low and behold, Home Exchange popped up. 

I started looking at the amazing homes that are posted there and I started dreaming.  It would certainly be easy to find someone who wanted to exchange for two or three weeks (it seemed like everyone in Europe wanted to come to the US to visit).  But, how easy was it going to be to find someone for 2 months?

I posted our house on the website and sent out several inquiries to homes that looked appealing.  I quickly got many inquiries from all over Europe.  However, no one wanted to exchange for 2 months.  Several suggested that I do a couple of exchanges of a few weeks each.  While I considered this and certainly would have done it if I couldn't find a two month exchange, my preference was to settle in to one place that we could call home for two months.  Get to know the neighbors, the neighborhood and have time to just relax and hang out.

Just a few days after my posting, I received an inquiry from a french photographer who was interested in a 2 month exchange.  After looking at the pictures of his home, I knew we were a perfect match.  He had a 19th century farm house, in the country about an hour and a half outside of Paris.  Very remote, with no neighbors nearby, but close to a small village and 15 minutes from Auxerre.  After a flurry of emails, the arrangements were set!  In my next post, I'll talk about some of the "arrangements" that need to be made to leave your home and business for two months!